


Coffee on a Cold Night

by mystery_deer



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Childhood Memories, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Racism, It's kind of angsty at the start but at the end it devolves into pure fluff, Kevin and Holt loving each other, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-23
Updated: 2020-07-23
Packaged: 2021-03-05 09:42:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25468735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mystery_deer/pseuds/mystery_deer
Summary: Raymond and Kevin attend a party hosted by Dean Allister. They then quickly leave.
Relationships: Kevin Cozner/Ray Holt
Comments: 3
Kudos: 63





	Coffee on a Cold Night

Raymond had known the moment he first saw Allister what kind of man he was. He was the kind of man whose eyes widened when his mother told them she was a judge, who covered it up quickly by heaping paper-thin praise onto her. _“I think there should be more judges, you know, like you-”_

Allister was the kind of man who when he first met Raymond, smiled.  
“I was beginning to think Kevin was making you up. You sounded too good to be true.”  
“What about me?”  
Black, gay, wealthy. Allister was the type of man who casually told Raymond that they were proud of him for working his way up in life. The kind of man who saw him and immediately assumed he was from the bottom of somewhere. They always paled when he told them his mother was a judge, that she had been a lawyer, that their family had always been middle class.  
“Oh, everything. Everything.”

Raymond’s assumption was right. The very first moment Raymond misspoke, Allister pounced, holding up the mistake and grinning with content. The mistake was so minor he couldn’t even remember it, he just remembered the flush of shame and then the anger at that shame. Being with Allister and men like Allister was a constant tango between; _I should have known that._ and _Why only me._

“That isn’t fair.”  
“I know, but that’s the way it is.” 

He was eight years old again and his mother was driving him home. He had gotten second place in a spelling bee. His word was surreptitious. The winner’s had been bicycle.  
“They gave me the harder one on purpose.”  
“Yes, they did.”

He couldn’t even complain. If he said something he was being a sore loser and an idiot. His teachers would tut that they thought he could handle it, they thought he was smart enough. The implication being; _But I guess not._

Raymond threw his second place ribbon out the window.  
His mother pulled over, got it, and placed it back into his hands.  
“You earned this.” She said, stare heavy. She was being strong for him but her heart was breaking too, breaking for her son who had been cheated so openly and who would be cheated for the rest of his life. “Next year you’ll get the blue one. You’ll study and you’ll learn and you’ll improve until they can’t deny you earned it.”

He won the blue next year.  
The winner was supposed to be bought ice cream after the competition so he waited in the lobby until the janitor came and shut the lights off. 

_“I’m sorry, it was a mistake. Did he wait in the right spot? Well it’s too late now. Ma’am you can’t expect us to-”_ His mother took him to the ice cream shoppe and told him to get anything he wanted. She glared up at the ceiling while he ate his vanilla cone. 

Allister had been in the crowd that first spelling bee. The crowd had been full of Allisters. Watching him, waiting with baited breath for him to fail. There had been an audible exhale when he missed the second ‘R’.  
_“See? This is why those n-”_

“See? This is why I don’t like to invite non-scholars to these events.” Raymond knew that even if he were a scholar, even if he were a professor, Allister wouldn’t want to invite him to these events. In an alternate universe where he was a professor Allister was saying; “See? This is why I don’t like to invite newcomers to these events.” 

“They can’t keep up.”

Raymond knew from the moment he saw Allister that the man would do nothing but find fault with him, occasionally throwing him a scrap of praise to cover his ass. So why did he want so badly to prove him wrong? Why did he get so damn nervous when speaking in front of him? It wasn’t like this with the other Allisters. He was smooth around them, confident, sure of himself.  
When this Allister smirked at a slight mispronunciation his heart hammered in his chest, fear and embarrassment knotted his tongue and stomach. 

“Raymond _is_ a scholar. You don’t have work within the field to be a scholar.”

Oh. Yes. Kevin.

“Of course, of course, I only meant-”  
“I know what you meant.” Silence. If Raymond had said anything the issue would have been pushed but Kevin’s word was final, slicing any opposing argument to ribbons. Raymond was grateful and angry. It was helpful, it was unfair.

“Allister was just correcting him, Kevin.” A professor Raymond didn’t know the same of said. “There’s no need for him to be so sensitive-”

“It was I who voiced _my_ objection, Christopher. Not Raymond.”  
“You-”  
“Yes, I know what you mean. Excuse me.” Kevin stood, leaving his glass of undrunk wine on the table and his coat on the back of his chair. Oh goodness, he must be livid.

Raymond stepped out into the night a few minutes later, glad to see that Kevin was sitting on a bench a few feet away. “Thank you.” He said, taking his coat. “I was debating whether or not to go back inside to get it.”

“You wouldn’t have.” Kevin smiled.  
“You know me well.”

He knew Kevin won spelling bees as a kid. He was his school’s spelling bee champion four years in a row. He met the mayor and shook his hand. He was proud of Kevin for this but there was always that small bit of resentment that formed when he thought about it. Kevin shaking the mayor’s hand and Raymond sitting in an empty lobby, waiting for ice cream.

When Kevin had first started dating him he would say things like “I can’t believe she would _say_ that to you!” and “Did you see that? He deliberately-” and Raymond would nod.  
_“Aren’t you upset?”  
“Yes. But me being upset isn’t going to change anything.”  
“That isn’t fair.”  
“I know, but that’s the way it is.”_

A lesson he learned at eight was being learned at thirty.  
It was hard not to resent that.

“I’m done with these little get togethers. We can organize our own, how many dinner parties have we hosted?” It was easy to love Kevin.

“We should invite Yolanda if you do. She’s a bit quiet but I think she’s been eyeing your friend Trevor.”

“Are you suggesting we play matchmaker?”  
“I’m suggesting we invite Yolanda and Trevor and if they happen to get more acquainted…” Raymond smiles mischievously and Kevin laughs. 

“Alright...perhaps I’ll invite everyone in the department. See where their loyalties lie.”  
“You are a wicked man.”  
“I am.” It’s Kevin’s turn to smile now and Raymond feels his heart warm. He loves this man, he loves him more every day. There’s no cap on loving someone, he’s discovered over the decades of being with him. There’s no point where it levels out, love is infinite and exponential.

“Raymond,” Kevin took his hand in his. It was cool and smooth, he was shaking a bit due to the cold. Raymond rubbed it between his own in an attempt to warm him. “Thank you.”  
“Of course. Do you need your gloves?”  
“No, I don’t expect we’ll be out here long.” Raymond nodded.  
“Raymond, you know that I love you don’t you?”  
“Yes.”  
“And that I’m proud of you, and that nothing could ever…” He paused, choosing his words. Kevin was a careful speaker. “...I would never want you to think for a moment that anyone’s estimation of you could change my own.”

Kevin no longer responded with shocked outrage when Raymond was underestimated, cheated, talked down to, insulted, ignored etc. He was still angry (he hadn’t had to deal with it all since birth, hadn’t grown up knowing, he still had so many years left of anger) but he no longer looked to Raymond with this anger. He glared at the perpetrator. He smiled and asked them questions. He was the picture of innocent agreeability and then he pounced.  
It was nice at times, to have someone pouncing for him.

Other times he was like this; Comforting and calm. When Raymond had been passed up for commissioner he’d called Kevin and said he was going to quit, that he was done, that he was never going to amount to anything.

_“If you quit I will support you. But I believe your judgement might be clouded at the moment.”_

_“I’m getting on a plane, I’m going on vacation.”  
“Alright. I will be here when you get back. Please call me.”_ A pause. _“And if they have that tea that we liked at the airport will you please send some to me?”_

_“Of course.”  
“Thank you.”_

When he’d gotten home he’d been given a kiss and a cup of tea, freshly prepared.  
_“Are you quitting?”_ A sigh.  
_“No.”_ A smile.  
_“Of course.”_

Raymond brought Kevin’s hand up to his lips and kissed it. When his husband turned to watch this he kissed him as well.

“Ray-”  
“I know. I love you.”  
“I love you as well.”  
“I love you so much Kevin. More than words.”  
“Let’s not be hasty.”  
Raymond laughed softly and Kevin smiled, wrapping an arm around his husband’s waist and letting the other man rest his head on his shoulder. They listened to the night.

“It’s cold.”  
“Indeed. When we get home would you prefer tea or coffee?”  
“It’s far too late in the night for coffee.” Raymond protested, then thought about the offer again. “Although...we _were_ prepared to stay up far later.”

Kevin privately thought that Raymond was adorable. He could imagine him as a child talking himself into a logical reason for mischief and reward. _“Well mother did tell me I could only have one slice...although she didn’t say how big of a slice it could be.”_

“Let’s have coffee then. I think we deserve a treat.” Raymond nodded, clearly excited as he stood to leave. Kevin stretched and stood with a pained grunt. “Goodness, I’m getting old.”

“Don’t say that, I’m older than you.”  
“Only by a few years.”  
“I’m a dinosaur.”

Kevin quirked his eyebrow, not understanding. Raymond linked their arms together and buried his hands in his pockets. “Ask Gina.”  
“Ah. One of your 99-isms.”  
“I have others?”  
“Hmm.”  
“Kevin, this is going to keep me up at night.”  
“Last week you called one of my ideas smart.”  
“Well, that’s no surprise. You are a very intelligent man.”  
“It veritably _oozed_ Peralta. It had a-” He paused, recalling one of his students using a slang term. “-Peralta je ne sais quoi.” 

The student had in reality pointed to a passage in their reading and commented; “This guy has big dick energy.” and though he hadn’t appreciated the crassness of the language used he had to admit they were right. 

“I hate myself.”  
“You’re being dramatic.” Raymond sighed heavily, further emphasizing his drama. Kevin wished the car were further away so they could keep walking like this, arm in arm. Then a gust of wind tore through them and he remembered that there would be coffee at home.

“You should have taken your gloves with you.” Raymond pointed out. Kevin thought it was sweet of him to worry.

“It wasn’t as cold earlier. We’ll turn on the heat in the car.”  
“Maybe I should drive, your hands might not react quickly enough to visual stimuli due to their temperature.”  
“If you want to drive you may.”  
“I’m just saying.”

They lapse into a comfortable silence. Kevin fishes the keys out of his pocket and their car's headlights turn on. “Who’s driving?” He asks, taking his arm out of Raymond’s. He misses the warmth immediately.

“You can.”  
“Are you positive?”  
“Yes.” 

Kevin nods and ducks into the driver’s side as Raymond sits in the passenger’s seat. As he pulls out of the parking lot Raymond fiddles with the radio, landing on an oldies station which makes them feel old and nostalgic. 

They will spend the ride deriding the disc jockey and scoffing at commercials and making little comments; _Remember this? Remember when? Remember how?_ They will give no more thought to Allister. When they get home they will greet Cheddar, who will be happy to see them home so soon, and they will make coffee for the two of them while listening to a game show on T.V. It’s a rerun that they taped so they call out the answers, trying to beat one another to the punch.

Raymond will choke on his coffee doing this and Kevin will choke on his laughing at him.  
“I got it though!” Raymond will say, grinning and loose and deliriously happy as he watches his husband doubled over in silent laughter. “I got it!”

**Author's Note:**

> B99: Dean Allister is prejudiced against Holt bc he’s a cop!  
> Me: Sure, Jan.


End file.
